Don't Drink the Tea. Think With the WE.

South Carolina’s “Right-to-Work” Act of 1954 Is Apparently Not Good Enough for 2012

The news this week that the South Carolina House Caucus, along with Governor Nikki Haley, had signed the “Right-to-Work Act of 2012″ was a bit confusing. After all, South Carolina has been a “Right-to-Work” (RTW) state, and a proud one at that, since 1954, prompting journalist Mike Elk to tweet the following:

But apparently the old “Right-to-Work” law was not good enough for Governor Haley who issued a statement saying, “unions are not needed, wanted, or welcome in South Carolina.” The new ‘ramped up’ RTW law, as the viciously anti-union lobby group Associated General Contractors of America (AGC) described it, would prohibit striking workers from collecting unemployment and ban Project Labor Agreements (PLAs), the pre-hire construction contracts that seek to enforce wage and safety standards as well as diversity requirements for hiring. But hey, who needs wages, safety and diversity in South Carolina, right?

So I got to thinking. Maybe stuff from 1954 really isn’t good enough anymore. Maybe that year was just too damn long ago to be trusted. Maybe we need an update of all things 1954, just to make sure they still apply.

For starters, we should probably revisit the National Negro Network, a black-oriented radio programming service that provided content to over 40 radio stations nationwide. I’m sure Nikki Haley strives for complete fairness with respect to programming and wants to make sure all voices are heard equally over South Carolina’s airwaves.

We should probably bring back mass vaccinations, too, like the ones Pittsburgh introduced for polio in 1954, because I’m sure South Carolina’s House Caucus wants to make sure every child’s health is adequately provided for, right?

And while we’re at it, we ought to hold a mandatory screening of Edward R. Murrow and Fred W. Friendly’s 1954 See It Now episode, “A Report on Senator Joseph McCarthy,” just to make sure everyone from Columbia to Myrtle Beach is clear on the fact that communism is not a real threat to our well-being and is often used as a political fear-mongering tool of the Right-Wing.

Hmmm. What else? Well, the Brown v. Board of Education decision was issued in 1954 so we should probably…oh, wait. South Carolina is pursuing Voter ID, so I think they’re already doing all they can in terms of race relations.

The New York Giants won the world series in 1954, and they could win the Super Bowl this year, so this one seems to have sorted itself out, but I’m sure we can drum some more up.

Ah! How about the words “under God”? They were added to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954. But these days, while South Carolina schools are forced to have their students recite the pledge, the students themselves have the choice of whether or not to comply. This kind of freedom, though, is probably not necessary in South Carolina. I say scrap it and burn down any district that doesn’t like it.

The last episode of the The Lone Ranger aired in 1954 and, I don’t know about you, but I’m more than ready for a remake starring Jonah Hill.

And lastly, and perhaps most importantly, the first Burger King opened in 1954, meaning an upgrade is definitely in order.

Excuse me, what? They did? They already did?!?

Yup, they already did. Burger King just debuted…NEW FRIES!!!


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