Don't Drink the Tea. Think With the WE.
May
2013
16

HORRIFIC: Underground Ring of Wealthy Mothers Hiring Handicapped Tour Guides to Avoid Waiting in Line at Disney World

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We are shocked that a recent New York Post piece about rich Manhattan mothers hiring handicapped tour guides in order to shorten amusement park wait times for their kids isn’t getting more attention. Perhaps the NY Post‘s credibility has something to do with it?

In hiring these “black market Disney tour guides” the wealthy pay $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day, in order to avoid standing with us normal people. The hideous, immoral practice is perfectly summarized in the NY Post‘s introductory sentence.

They are 1 percenters who are 100 percent despicable.

The plot line is stomach churning but not surprising. The 99 percent are well aware that the elite get to play by their own rules. More accurately, they make their own rules. Still, most alarming about this story is that those involved had the audacity to argue that the practice is actually cheaper than the system Disney has in place for those who want special treatment. “Disney Tours” provides VIP guide and fast passes for $310 to $380 an hour.

My daughter waited one minute to get on ‘It’s a Small World’ — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours,” crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida.

“You can’t go to Disney without a tour concierge,’’ she sniffed. “This is how the 1 percent does Disney.”

Disney World, right or wrong, has sold itself in the past as a place that the middle and lower class should save up to come to in order to give their kids a “once in a lifetime experience” that the family will remember for decades. While Disney is not affiliated with Dream Tours Florida, the true offender here, it remains marred by their presence in the park.

The Disney World experience isn’t about the rides unless you are a small child. It’s about the shared experience, the meaning of family. This is a concept that these Mother Me Firsters apparently cannot process.

According to the article, the underground network of shame was discovered by Dr. Wednesday Martin, a social anthropologist currently studying the habits of Manhattan’s elite:

Passing around the rogue guide service’s phone number recently became a shameless ritual among Manhattan’s private-school set during spring break. The service asks who referred you before they even take your call.

“It’s insider knowledge that very few have and share carefully,” said social anthropologist Dr. Wednesday Martin, who caught wind of the underground network while doing research for her upcoming book “Primates of Park Avenue.”

“Who wants a speed pass when you can use your black-market handicapped guide to circumvent the lines all together?” she said. “So when you’re doing it, you’re affirming that you are one of the privileged insiders who has and shares this information.”

As the child of a disabled mother — Multiple Sclerosis long ago put her in a wheelchair — I, was able to use auxiliary entrances for long rides on family vacations to Disney World. But I would have given anything to be in the longer line, passing the time and creating memories, with my mother on her healthy feet.

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