Don't Drink the Tea. Think With the WE.
Jan
2012
12

“The CEO added that nothing is more satisfying than a job well done by someone else.”



We are at a point in economic history where employees are working harder than ever for less than ever while the companies who employ them are hoarding more and more profits.

Despite December’s slight economic uptick, the trend of the past twenty or fifty years is clear: corporate profits are rising and workers’ share of these profits has stagnated.

What many workers see as the worst of times is viewed as just another opportunity to both inform and entertain by genre-creating parody rag The Onion. Their satirical writing began when the newspaper (which now includes a website, a network, a movie and several books) was founded in 1988 in Madison, Wisconsin. It continues to get funnier and more poignant as more information about the indiscretions and indignations of the political arena are exposed.

The Onion’s take on the plight of the modern worker is everything a well-crafted satire piece should be.

Behold, an excerpt from All Of Area Man’s Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer:

The stress-related physical and psychological tolls for Hemstead, 34, have been high, but the hypertension, weight-gain, and crippling migraine headaches he has suffered due to his rigorous work schedule have been worth the rewards he has reaped for his employer, Pardahee confirmed.

“I’m sure there were times when Sam wondered if it was all really worth it, especially considering he had to pay for a lot of his medication and doctor’s visits out of his own pocket,” said Pardahee, who in 2009 forced all his account managers to become contract employees so he would no longer have to provide them with health care benefits. “But he never complained once, and now that Sam has helped Pinnacle earn record profits by not taking a single day off for more than five years, I can finally relax and take another long vacation to Turks and Caicos. After all, Sam earned it for me.”

The CEO added that nothing is more satisfying than a job well done by someone else.

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